Police Prepare for ‘Violent Boomer Unrest’ as Word Spreads Schools May Remain Closed

Police are gearing up for another round of rioting as parents across the nation began receiving word there may be another semester of stay at home schooling.

“I’m not standing for another day of Tik Tok dancing and bitching about what’s for lunch,” said Karen Whiticker of Denver. “It’s the school’s job to take these lousy kids off my hands eight hours a day.”

Most schools were shut down in the final months of the 2019-2020 school year, as cities took precautions to slow the spread of the new coronavirus.

“What do want,” asked Whiticker. “Schools to open,” shouted back an angry crowd of moms and dads. “If we don’t get it,” Whiticker continued. “Burn it down,” the crowd responded.

Some parents were equally angry about the less than stellar grades their kids received while attending class via Zoom.

“All they did was stare at a computer screen for an hour a day, ” said Greg Miller, a single dad who was holding a bottle with a rag protruding from the end. “Every time I asked if he had homework, he always said no. How the heck did he get a D?”

What started with a small group of dumbfounded parents has led to a nationwide movement.

“This is nothing but violent boomer unrest,” said Sgt. Kerry Schlitz of the Chicago Police Department. “A bunch of middle aged housewives moaning about not being able to watch their soap operas.”

President Trump responded to the angry mobs in a stern way. “I have ordered the National Guard to protect the buildings at all costs,” Trump said in an address to the nation. “Parents should be spanking these no good students, rather than burning the schools down.”

Yesterday, parents tore down a statue of Albert Einstein at Walter White High School in Arizona.

“We got stuck with these kids day and night,” Whiticker exclaimed. “Someone is gonna pay.”