Smokers Cough Leads to Building Evacuation as Covid Paranoia Rises

A four story office building in Seattle was evacuated after several employees heard the sounds of coughing coming down the halls.

“At first I thought it was someone playing a joke,” said Karen Weaver. “Certainly that couldn’t be a real person coughing. At least I prayed it was not.”

The commotion was caused by Jared Stone, a 23 year old mail room worker who says he had been to a barbecue the night before and things got a little out of hand.

“I’m not a smoker,” Stone said. “But I had a few beers and there was this hot girl sucking down cigarettes. I figured if I was to have a chance, I’d better light up.”

The next morning, Stone says he felt like a truck had run through his lungs. It was after his first cup of coffee when the hacking began.

His hunt for tail turned costly, as Stone was immediately fired and placed in a holding cell pending the results of a coronavirus test.

“We don’t take chances around here,” said Arthur Morgan, who runs a telemarketing office on the third floor. “When Karen said she heard the coughing, we pulled the Covid alarm.

Stone regrets the decision to “smoke a few butts” with the girl, but says he is happy about eventually getting her number.