Teacher Secretly Revels in Covid School Closings

She tells her students she misses them and can’t wait to get back to the classroom, but secretly, one Louisiana teacher is ecstatic about not having to go to work.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been drunk during every Zoom session,” said Karen Majors, a fourth grade school teacher from Elmswood.

Majors says the COVID-19 lockdowns have given her a new appreciation for teaching.

“Dealing with kids at school was very challenging,” she said. “It’s hard to pretend you like them all when most are just smelly, disrespectful brats.”

But ever since Governor John Bel Edwards ordered school closures, teachers are conducting class remotely via laptops or smart phones, making it easier for Majors to deal with the students she often referred to as spoiled demon rats.

“They told us they don’t care what we teach during these times, as long as it appears the kids are still ‘learning’,” she said while using air quotes.

What used to be a long day dealing with whiny students, know it all parents, and pretentious co-workers, Majors says she now works an average of twelve minutes a day. “Covid has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.”